By Brittany Garlepied

The 12th of every month

When I was first heard about The Anniversary Pact, I began contemplating a specific date or incident to celebrate, and my mind was flooded with options. In the past year alone, I have felt true evolution in almost all aspects of my life. Most days, the Brittany who walks through the world today feels such clarity in who she is, what she believes, and how she wants to impact others. 

Through triumphs and struggles, I have put work and energy into learning how to truly love myself. I have learned to be an advocate for my mental and physical health. I have analyzed and re-worked my ethical, political, and spiritual belief systems. I’ve disassociated my worth from the love and sexual desire of men. I’ve thrown up the middle finger to society’s expectations of me as a woman, feeling at home in my body and unashamed of its flaws. I have found my voice in the world, and I share it frequently. 

I can’t slap a clear date on when I began to feel this self-growth, or correlate it to a single event. This feeling of full self-expression came on slowly and all at once. Let me pause and say that I still have bad days and even bad weeks. I have days where I’m riddled with anxiety for reasons I can’t pinpoint. I have days where I feel out of place. I have days where I pick apart my body or compare it to other women. I have days where I feel desperate to be loved by a man. However, I can now recognize those feelings when they occur, acknowledge them, work through them, and move on. 

I have developed the tools to navigate my bad days. Sometimes I just need to sling around a barbell and sweat it out. Sometimes I need to tell a friend, “Hey, I’m not feeling like my best self. Can you talk this through with me?” Sometimes I need to reach out to my therapist. Sometimes I need to cry. Sometimes I need to eat pizza and do a face mask, and sometimes I need to dance around in my underwear to Lizzo (because I am 100 percent that bitch). But now I know that it’s okay to not be okay 100 percent of the time.

How often do we, as women, take the time to simply celebrate ourselves? I know I don’t do it often enough.  I celebrate milestones, big achievements, and anniversaries with partners, but I never celebrate just me. I never celebrate the work I have put in to become my best self. So, I vow today to take the time to celebrate Brittany. I vow on the twelfth of every month (twelve is my favorite number) to take stock of my personal growth. I vow to say, “Brittany, you are doing a great job. Here is one thing you did for yourself this month and here is how it had an impact on your life and those around you.” I vow to say, “Brittany, keep being a boss bitch. And never stop dancing in your underwear.”