Reflections: Two Months in L.A., Heading Back Home, and Living the Best Year of My Life

Well, the time has come. My two-month stint in Los Angeles has come to an end. Today I head back home to New Orleans. Where does the time go?

It seems like it was a lifetime ago that I landed at LAX, yet feels like it was just yesterday. It’s strange how quickly time can pass you by on a normal day, but it’s especially strange how quickly it can fly when you’re having the time of your life.

When I landed in L.A. eight weeks ago, I had no idea what was in store for me. I hadn’t been to California since the January prior, and I didn’t necessarily leave it on the best terms. Los Angeles held precious memories for me, but most of the memories were tinged with some varying degree of sadness, too. I was excited to be back, but I was also nervous. Would I crash and burn? Would I get depressed? Would my homesickness get the best of me?

The truth is that there were a couple of days when I felt like I didn’t know what I was doing. There were some days when my anxiety got the best of me. And there were some days when I was so homesick, I could have purchased a plane ticket right then and there and jumped ship. But I didn’t. Through the hard times, and there were some hard times here, I stayed. I stuck it out. And I didn’t have to. But I chose to.

Something that I mentioned about this go with Los Angeles was that it was my choice to be here, and that’s why it felt so different this time around. It’s amazing what your growth and experience can be when it’s your choice. When you have a say. Isn’t it?

Originally, I came to Los Angeles for an on-camera audition class that I had signed up for when I first got to L.A. in July 2018. My expectation was to take that one class and fill the remainder of my days with writing and reading and studying. But what I ended up doing was so much more.

I was able to take level three of improv classes at Upright Citizens Brigade, which introduced me to fifteen people who are just like me and who quickly became a little family of mine. In two weeks’ time, I spent more than twenty-four hours with them learning and playing, and saw countless improv shows as extra study.

I took a workshop with one of the founders of UCB and got up to work under his direction twice, which was an incredible experience. I learned so much in those three, short hours, mostly to remember to think less and to play, a lesson for both improv and life.

I co-hosted two table reads for a screenplay I co-wrote, which was the first time I’ve heard my words read aloud. It was exhilarating, and I want more experiences like those, when you look around at a room full of artists who come together for something they believe in. It felt really nice, and I’m grateful for every one of them for dedicating their time and talent to bringing these characters to life.

I co-hosted a Show Your Empress photoshoot with my Soul Foundry + Co. business partner, and it was absolutely breathtaking. We were lucky enough to be gifted the space of a friend’s home, which was within walking distance to the beach where we concluded the shoot and watched the sun set on the horizon. I touched the Pacific Ocean for the first time this day.

I went on several hikes, I ran around the neighborhood, I practiced yoga, and I allowed my body and mind time to heal and rest from the persistent need to exercise, which I had been struggling with from time to time in New Orleans. Initially, I had some anxiety about not having access to traditional forms of exercise while out in L.A., but I was reminded over these two months that our bodies are smart, and our bodies are resilient, and it’s just as important to exercise our mental health as it is our physical.

I indulged in happy hours and tacos and lots of dark chocolate. I ate Indian food and watched so many incredible movies and drank rose and took a liking to the ritual of evening tea.

I had so much quality time with incredible women, some of whom I’ve known for years and some of whom I had just met. It reminded me of the importance of friendship, vulnerability, and letting people in, three things I will make more space for in my life moving forward.

I wrote often and got over the writer’s block hump with my novel. I’ve since written 2,500 words and the ideas are still flowing. I read three books and have one for the plane back to New Orleans.

I picked apples in apple country and drank the most delicious Pinot in wine country. I ran through the streets of Solvang in a sweater, bathing suit, and boots with three girlfriends before drunkenly hopping in a hot tub and ending the night with pizza, candy, and Food Network.

I celebrated Halloween in West Hollywood and Thanksgiving with Erin’s family, who graciously welcomed me into their home and shared stories with me of their love for New Orleans while we all watched the Saints game. I spent time in Carlsbad and drank coffee and margaritas by a roaring fire and watched Modern Love and The Hundred-Foot Journey and listened to holiday music.

I read tarot in the mornings and pulled goddess cards in Griffith Park. I felt an earthquake, bathed in the sun, and ran through the rain.

I rested. I hustled. I coasted. I sprinted.

I developed crushes on boys and got over them faster than it took to fall. I deleted my dating apps. I purchased Morganite and carry it in my front pocket, both to open my heart chakra for self-love and to welcome in new love, too.

It’s been eight weeks. Only eight. But I have lived a lifetime. I truly wish I could put it into words the way I’m feeling, but the only way I can think to describe it is the feeling you get in your chest when you see someone you love is smiling so big it reaches their eyes.

You know the feeling I’m talking about?

The feeling where your heart swells so much, you have to take a big, deep breath just to make space in your chest for it to grow. And as you exhale, your breathing pitter-patters and your eyes fill with the kind of tears that makes your chin quiver.

That’s the feeling I’m talking about. The feeling of seeing someone I love smiling so big that it reaches their eyes.

And that person I love is me.

I’m looking forward to being back home in New Orleans. I miss the Oak trees, and I miss my neighborhood. I miss the easier street parking and the slower pace. I miss the friendliness of cashiers everywhere, and I miss the electricity floating through the atmosphere. I miss my friends back home. I miss them a lot. I miss my mom and brother. I miss my house. My adorable, perfectly imperfect, quirky, lively, haven of a house that I share with two of my main gals, one of whom is a cat. I miss my morning runs uptown, and I miss grocery shopping at my Trader Joe’s. I miss my bedroom where I end my days tucked into bed with my peony candle and my twinkly lights. I miss my altar, which will look and feel different when I return as I add gifts brought back from California. I miss my job. I miss my routine. I miss my city. I really, really do. And I’m so excited to be returning at the onset of the holiday season, because, this year, I actually feel joyful enough to celebrate.

It’s funny, isn’t it? How quickly time can pass you by? It’s strange at how quickly time can pass you by on a normal day, but it’s especially strange how quickly it can fly when you’re having the time of your life.

The past two months in Los Angeles have been two of the greatest months of my life, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t give credit to this entire past year, too. These twelve months have easily been some of the hardest, most heartbreaking, and confusing, yet they have been the most rewarding, joyful, and reinvigorating months at the same time. Despite the many moments in 2019 when I felt defeated, I can confidently say that this has been the greatest year of my life.

Better than the year I fell in love for the first time, and better than the year I fell in love for the second.

Better than the year I watched wild horses run the Cliffs of Moher, and better than seeing my first show on Broadway.

Better than the year I learned to drive, or graduated college, or ran a half-marathon.

This year was better than all of the times before, because this year I lived every single day the way I chose to. Wherever I was, wherever I went, and whatever I did, it was my choice to be there, and that’s why this year felt so different.

That’s why this year was the greatest.

It’s amazing what your growth and experience can be when it’s your choice. When you have a say. Isn’t it?

So, now I ask you…

What kind of life do you choose?